- alina's world ♥

A few years ago I met this guy. He was so quiet and to himself but for some reason I wanted to start a conversation with him, it didn’t get far but I had a huge crush on him than a few days later I found out he went out with my friend. It was two months and I saw how much she hurt him, how much of a whore she was treating him like some piece of garbage. At that point me and him grew closer he was my ‘bestfriend’ he call me mouse and i called him cat. We we’re both going through relationship problems and one day he told me ‘We’re to young for this’ I agreed we were both in out of our heads. We had each other I saw him like multiple girls and tell me about it. One day my father got locked up and I was crying so he walked me home after that day he always walked me home.. The one day he didnt walk me Thursday of October I got jumped and cut in my face.. That day he went to the hospital crying.. he said ‘I hope my little mouse is okay’ a few days later on December 7th he confessed to me that he liked me.. He was under alcoholic bravery so I really didn’t pay mind he told me he was drunk not blind. A few days later to get over my suspense i asked him to hang out. We walked around this one block than he chose a stoop and we sat down I had a big cut on my face from when i got jumped and my cheek was swollen i covered my face and told him I  looked ugly. He grabbed my face and said. Your beautiful.. Iblushed and turned away and when I turned back I kissed him. God knows that kiss was EVERYTHING. MY world turned into diffrent colors my eyes had hearts in them. At that instant i felt inlove. A feeling i never felt. when my lips moved fars from his he grabbed my face again and didnt stop kissing me.. I couldnt control the butterflies in my stomach. That same day December 11 2010 he made me his girlfriend. We had people who disagreed with us since the start but we didnt pay mind to it we made eachother happy and thats all that really mattered. We went through arguments. laughs and crys. But everything we did was together. He was my first love. He showed me what it means to love, and that love comes with sacrifices. He met my family and i met his. We were ALWAYS together so unbreakable. I cant even lie like every other relationship we both made our mistakes. But were human. No matter the mistakes he made or the times he cryed I accepted him.. We were bestfriends and lovers. I opened up to him about my past and he promised he would never hurt me like other have… He was there! We spent nights on the phone for seven hours. We went on a resort together and I sang to him and he started crying he said I was down to earth and he was so inlove with me. He always remined me that i was his world, that there will never have been any other girl. He told me im the only girl he was himself around. On April he proposed to me.. I knew it was real! But after a long talk we agreed to wait.. So we did. Are relationship was rocky but we managed to keep going. Summer came around and it was time for him to go to georgia. The last day he was in new york he gave me the tshirt he wore when we first made love along with or adopted sock monkey alexander espinosa… He sat on his chair and i sat ontop of him we started making out and than we both started crying it was so akward cause he had a boner :/ but we cryed to eachother and promised to make it through.. As the summer continued are relationship hit its boiling point he broke up with me because i was being stuborn so for a month i called him and told him how much i needed him and how much my life was so incomplete without him.. but he treated me like if i was nothing so after that month i gave up and moved on and that killed him. I dont think he ever really understood how it felt too look at yourslef be so torn. To see yourself after a month so skinny so worn out from not eating and crying for a month straight. The thought of it always brought tears to my eyes.. When he came back to ny he came to my house sweating bullets so i welcomed him in said hi to him hugged him kissed him etc and we restarted our relationship.. Everything was perfect until BOOM new schools we were both insecure because we were in different schools. We argued alot more but ended up braking up for the first time because he liked someone else.. After that I still stood by his side but he just didnt want me in his life.  A month and a half later I was highly intoxicated so i called him.. I poured my heart out to him he asked me to go to his house so i did and when i got there he showed me the song he made for me while i was gone I started crying and he hugged me.. after a week on Thanksgiving we cryed to eachother and told eachother how much it hurt to move on. Such a pain full argument turned into the best thing ever he asked me back out :-[ Sadly On December 2 his grandmother passed away. I let him stay in my house. After that day I saw the change in him.. I saw how In denial he was and it broke my heart i pushed him away because i hated seeing him like that. I knew that that was only the beginning we were both under alot of stress and we ended up breaking up.. My feelings didnt change i still chased him and i still loved him.. To the point that i lost respect in myself. I gave it all away for him. He was doing him and i stood there asking questions. Even though he treated me like shit my mind was set to being with him because he was my all. I cryed for him over and overr.. I argued and did my all to get him back but it didnt work. He used me for what he needed claiming that he still loved me =[ after i noticed what his intentions were and what he wanted i started to slowly give up and ask myself was he ever inlove? But my memorys answered my question. I was right He changed after December 2nd he became this cold hearted person and i never blamed him. TILL this day I continue to love him. His name was Jonathan.. my ‘buttface’. Also till this day I don’t understand what I did to deserve this, I WAS THERE more than everyone else in the universe. When he cryed at w/e time circumstance or situation I was there. Whenever he had a problem I held his hand WHEN THE UNIVERSE DIDNT KNOW WHO HE WAS I sat there and wrote him essays on why hes amazing. I motivated him to follow his dreams, I did everything for that kid and i hate it i hate that.. I let myself go for someone who didnt give a fuck at the end! No matter what I say or do.. Till this day and on he will forever have my heart.. Love is nothing if we dont go through sacrifice and without eachother we’ll be nowhere. You will always be my forever and a day. You will always be the most important person to me I LOVE YOU WITH EVERYTHING IN ME KID ://. Things happen for a reason.. People change like the seasons <3